Wednesday, May 28, 2014

To the New Momma I Spoke with on the Phone Today

There are two important things you need to hear right now, again and again and again:

Congratulations!  And, it gets better. Cliche, I know, but it's true.

While the world comes crashing down on you, it's impossible to see. After all, THIS only happens to OTHER people. But after you've fully mourned the loss of the child you thought you were having, as well as the future you and your husband planned, I promise you, it gets better. After those first months in and out of doctors offices, it gets better. After the first thousand, well, she has Down syndrome's, in response to well-meaning but unobservant strangers, it gets better. After you've cried your last tear, and let escape that last primal scream of anguish, I promise you, it gets better.

From this moment forward, everything in life, both yours and hers, is earned. Every smile, every laugh, every tear of joy. You will see your little girl work harder for the seemingly simple things in life than any other child you know. She will sit, but she will work for it. She will crawl and she will stand, but she will work for it. She will walk, she will talk...she will work for it. She will work every day of her life to make you laugh, and make you smile, and when you do, she'll work even harder to do it again. And you'll work just has hard to make her life just as easy as you can. That effort will become the source of the greatest joy you will ever know.

And then one day you will wake and you will realize that this unexpected, life-changing little being has, of course, changed your life, but not in all the awful ways you thought. Her presence will inspire you to achieve your greatest self. For her, for you, for your family. One day you will look in the mirror and you will see a new person, a better person, a person you can truly be proud of. She will make your life complete.

So even though you didn't choose to be here, in this community, know that when you are ready, it, she, we will be here to help you every step of the way. Everything will get better.

Better than you can possibly imagine.

And one day, when you get a call from a new momma, you can honestly and genuinely say, "Congratulations!"


  1. So WoNderFuL!!! None of us would trade Max for anything in the whole world. We've been gifted.

  2. Wow, niece, who knew you could write with such feeling and depth. I am blown away. Love to you, Sean, Max and Chance. Uncle Jim