Jumble

That's a fun word. Sounds made-up. But that's the perfect word for this post. I've got limited time and lots of thoughts. It's gonna end up a big jumble!

Thought 1:

My Cover and Profile pics on Facebook needed changing. I wanted to highlight Max, but also let people know it's actually me they are looking for. Here's what I chose:

I like Max's smile in this one, and I don't have a double chin!

Thought 2:

Pregnancy is making my brain soft. My ability to concentrate has evaporated. I have a backlog of essays to read, boxes to unpack, Christmas cards to address, Christmas presents to buy, emails to delete, friends to greet, and posts to write that could keep me busy until the cows come home (which, for some reason, means a really long time).

Thought 3:

I'm experiencing two conflicting pregnancy-related phenomena. The first is the desire to nest, which is very timely considering we recently moved. The other is related to Thought 2. Hormones are making my brain soft, so after I have spent the day wrangling teenagers, writing and performing engaging lessons, and attempting to spend quality time with the beautiful boy you see up there, I am seemingly paralyzed. Sometimes it's fatigue, but most of the time it is an in ability to organize my thoughts into a coherent plan. Frustrating.

Thought 4:

I don't like being a working mom. Don't misunderstand me. I like being a teacher. What I would prefer would be to stay home and care for my child(ren). Not that I would LOVE that instead. It's more that I wouldn't feel this work-related stress everyday, have to drive 35 miles to work at 5:30 am, and feel like I had a little more time for Max.

Thought 5:

Sometimes I don't feel motivated to post anything here at My Boy Max. I usually have to stay up late to do it, and then that impacts my ability to drive 35 miles at 5:30 am the next day. And then Sean had his annual Christmas party on Saturday night, and several people told me that they love to read the blog. One of the guys even got tears in his eyes as he talked about watching the video of Max turning his walker. I was really moved. That's why I wanted to make sure I posted something this week, even if it is a jumble.

Thought 6:

I've gotten a bunch of test results back. First, it seems that I had fifth disease as a child (bloodwork shows old antibodies) so there is no danger of my little baby becoming infected. Phew! Second, the final results of the sequential screening came back and are as follows: neural tube defect = 1/10,000 (awesome), trisomy 18 = 1/10,000+ (really awesome), Down syndrome = 1/600 (really good). I feel relieved by those numbers, but when compared to 1/10,000, the 1/600 isn't quite as impressive. I've got a level 2 ultrasound scheduled in three weeks, so I'll get even more information then, but I'm leaving the possibility of an amniocentesis open. I like information, so if I continue to question the results, regardless of how good they appear to be, I may go for it. That way I can either put my concerns to rest, or prepare for what will be coming.